Solitary Confinement

I am on day 11 of what I'm calling my time of "solitary confinement."  As the name suggests, it's not a very enjoyable time.  This has been my time away from any form of Christian fellowship.  Allow me to start from the beginning...

December 13th
I missed church on this Sunday.  It wasn't because of laziness on my part or a desire not to go.  I live in a duplex (two separate housing unis joined together--kinda like a townhouse, but only on one side).  My neighbors were throwing a party (the mother's 50th).  The music was EXTREMELY loud and didn't stop until 4am...needless to say, I overslept...  I did attempt to calm the volume of the music, but the alcohol was flowing too freely for me, a student, to be taken seriously.

December 14th-18th
I got my wisdom teeth out on Monday, the 14th.  It wasn't the most delightful trip, to say the least!  Lol!  The dentist found cysts around 3 of the 4 wisdom teeth.  It didn't mean anything serious...just more pain...  Add that to the fact that I'm at home with my parents and you'll understand why I was home the entire week with no hope of going outside (mom is an enforcer...).  So that means that I missed Home Fellowship on Wednesday and Bible Study on Friday.

December 19th-20th
If you're on the northern East Coast, then there is no need for me to mention the crazy snow storm that came!  Lol!  Once again, I was stuck in the house; but it was mainly because of my mom's refusal to let me go anywhere, not the snow (still recovering from the surgery).

December 21st-Present
It's great that the road have gotten better!  It is possible to venture outside now...except for the fact that now my car won't start.  I had been trying since Monday, the 21st, to get it towed to the auto shop; but because of the snow, all tow trucks were busy.  I finally was able to get it towed last night at 6pm (22nd).  Today, I'm still without a car and I had bad news from the auto shop.  My car needs:
- new ignition cylinder
- new ignition switch
- fixed starter (there's a wire short in the system that needs to be found and fixed)

All of that is a total of $800!!!!  Whoa!!!  Fun times, right?  But it's cool because I have that in the bank!!!  ...minus a 0...  Lol!  I'm laughing to lighten the mood, but being around ungodly people constantly with no Christian fellowship is such a downer...  I spoke to my step-dad about it to see what I should do.  He has a delightful way of making you feel stupid for things that you have no control over whatsoever.  I spoke to my mom, which I didn't want to do because she worries too much anyway...and she responded exactly the way I thought she would.  Aside from this situation, I've told my parents about my plans to work at camp again this coming summer (something the Lord has really encouraged me to do).  There's not much encouragement from the home, though...  "Well, that's smart!  Coming out of college with loans looming and no money in the bank and you want to work at camp?!  You're a genius!  You can make more than a summer at camp by working at McDonald's!  Why not just get a job in architecture, since it's your major?"  As you can imagine, this makes me super excited about camp...yay...  Lol!

Then I spoke with my dad.  I felt bad about that one...I mean, he's in the process of rebuilding his life after coming to Christ.  He's making ends meet for himself, but not by much.  I feel bad asking him to bear my burden, too.  He's sending me $190 to help!  That's more than I could have ever asked for from him!  There really aren't words to express what that means to me...

All of this is interesting because of my devotion this morning.  I was reading Luke 11:1-13 and was drawn to what Jesus said in verse 8.  The word used for "boldness" (NIV) here is "anaideia", and it means "impudence".  I'm not much of an intellectual, so I looked up impudent.  Lol!  It means "shamelessly bold" (Webster's Dictionary).  So Jesus said that the man in the passage who asked was shamelessly bold in his asking...and that for that very reason, he would receive the help he sought.  Interesting application, in that by throwing away his pride and humbling himself was the way for him to find what he was seeking...

So in any case, I'm at home...again...  And I'll probably be home tomorrow, too....again...  What does this imply for me?  Continued separation from any form of Christian fellowship.  Not only that, but it means that I still can't get Alisha anything for Christmas.  I had planned on making something for her, but I still need to get the materials.  Not only that, but what I'm making will take at least 3 days to make; so one can easily see the issue.  I know that she won't mind waiting a little bit longer to get a gift.  In fact, I'm pretty sure that if she knew the situation, she'd tell me not to worry about it (truth is, I haven't spoken to her about this...yet...guess I'll talk to her after I post this...it'd be bad for her to find out through blogger.com--lol!!!).  She's a very understanding woman and I thank God for that!  Still, I want to be able to show her my gratitude...{sigh}...

I really don't understand how people can go months at a time without being amongst the brethren!!!  This is shear torture for me.  I'm around people who don't have the hope for eternity that I have, and even though I've shared numerous times, they refuse to have it!  I really have no clue what the purpose is of having me house-ridden; especially when I'm alone for most of the day.  I mean, I'm really starting to understand why God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone" (Gen. 2:18).  Being left alone for long periods makes it easier to drift away from consistent fellowship with God.  On top of that, it makes it easier to focus on yourself and become depressed (by-product of inconsistent fellowship with God).

I've been trying to keep my spirit up, but I'm tired.  Lol!  That's typical...  I need the Lord to keep my spirit up!!!  Lol!  I need Him to bolster my spirit with His own...  Because, so far, I can honestly say, I'm not in the "holiday spirit."  And it's crazy because I'm not bitter towards anyone around me, nor am I bitter with the Lord; I'm angry with myself and my lack of preparedness...even though there was no possible way for me to plan for this, given my current joblessness.  {sigh}  Well, it's time to recklessly throw my pride to the wind and continue to humbly ask for help:  When you kneel down to pray, please pray for me as the Lord leads you...