If Words Could Speak...

What if words could speak?  Literally, what if written words could speak audible phrases?  What if books in stores could speak up for themselves when they noticed you or I judging them by their "interesting" or "bland" covers?  (here comes the tough one)  What if that Bible on the shelf could speak...what would it say?  Would it develop asthma because of the layers of dust?  Would it physically ache all over from overuse?  Possibly...would your Bible speak these words:

There's a growing ignorance of what the Bible actually says, these days.  As the song said, people may have Bible quotes tatted on their arms, but there's no actual application or understanding of the words.  Check out this excerpt from Donald Whitney's book, Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life:

"In August of 1989 I had the privilege of participating in a mission trip to the bush country of East Africa...I was unprepared for some of my encounters with many of the professing Christians in this equatorial setting.  Lying, stealing, and immorality were common and generally accepted, even among the leadership of the church.  Theological understanding was as scarce as water...

Soon I discovered one of the main reasons this church looked as though it had been started by Corinthian missionaries.  No one had a Bible--not the pastor, not the deacon, no one.  The pastor had only half-a-dozen sermons, all half-baked over the coals of a few Bible-story recollections.  Every sixth week came the same sermon.  The only real contact with Scripture happened with the occasional visit of a missionary...

Most of us shake our heads in pity at such sad conditions.  It's hard to imagine that many of us have more Bibles in our homes than entire churches have in some Third-World situations.  But it's one thing to be unfamiliar with Scripture when you don't own a Bible; it's another thing when you have a bookshelf full."

What's your time worth to you?  What's it worth to me?  I challenge you (and myself), invest time into discovering God in the Scriptures.  It's vital to truly knowing God and living a godly life.  Again, I ask, "What do you value?"  Because God values you.

Unbridled Faithfulness

You know, after having a pretty terrible first few weeks of being back in the United States, God came through with a pretty amazing week...  Lately, I've been struggling with being back:
- "How do I fit back in around here?"
- "...all of my close friends seem to have moved away..."
- "Are there any ministry opportunities here for me?  Or did I leave them all in Mexico?"

I'll admit, for a while I was a true Israelite in my thinking!  "Why can't I just go back to Mexico?  It was so much better there!!!  I had food, friends, and ministry!!!!"  Lol!  Let me give some background information.  For some reason unbeknownst to me, my finances have been bled COMPLETELY dry.  It's really been a combination of me being in Mexico for 6 months and a crazy wedding week with the Holston's...  Either way, I ended up begging my dad for gas money so I could make it to my new job this week.  Now, we have reached the beginning of my story...

Worship was just finishing up at church as offering was being collected.  I realized that I hadn't yet tithed on the money that my dad had given me for gas.  I wrestled with the thought for a moment.  After all, I needed that money for gas and parking at work ($10 a day)!  If I gave that money to God, there'd be no way for me to take care of those financial responsibilities!  Still, I gave in.  After all, God is sovereign!  He owns the cattle on a thousand hills, for crying out loud!  (Psalm 50:9-10)  $10 won't break HIS pockets!  Lol!  So I gave...

On Monday morning, I headed to the MARC train station around the corner from my house to purchase a MARC/Metro monthly pass for April.  I spent the last of my saved money to secure my travel for April and headed to work, unaware of what awaited me...  When I arrived at work, my boss said that the company would totally expense my MARC/Metro monthly pass (about $227)!!!!  Of course, I won't see the reimbursement for a few weeks, but it's great news!  Whereas most employees have their parking paid for, I'm getting my entire trip to work paid for!!!!  God is incredibly faithful, and His favor is amazing...

About midway through the workday, a lady entered the office to deliver new parking passes for the month of April.  The receptionist started handing them out to the employees who needed them and collected the passes for the month of March.  The thing is, the new passes were for a parking garage under the building.  So pretty much, no one would be using the March passes that were good for in front of the movie theater...  Guess what the receptionist decided to do?  


"Hey Jamil, why don't you use one of these parking passes for the rest of the week and give it back to me when you're done?"


WHAT?!!!!  While I'm at my desk, thinking of how to beg the movie theater people for parking validation so I can afford the cost, God is working behind the scenes to faithfully provide for my needs!  My God is indeed huge!

The end.

NOT!!!  It continues!  You see, back in my senior year of high school, I was looking for an easy "A" class and took web page design.  While in that class, I learned basic HTML!  Um, that's "computer geek" for "I learned to read and write the basic language of web pages."  While I'm at work this week, guess what my supervisor asks me:
"Hey Jamil, I know you studied architecture, but are you familiar with HTML?"


Not only is God faithful enough to plan that far in advance, but He's faithful enough to help me REMEMBER WHAT I LEARNED!!!!!!  Lol!  I'm done!  I can't even function at the moment!  I'm taking all of this Saturday just to reflect...thank you, Lord...I truly don't deserve You...

A Trip in Missions, Pt. 2

I'm BACK!!!  Whew, what an adventure!!!  We didn't even get a chance to ease into our own personal epic, but we were met with issues the morning we left!  I was scheduled to leave Thursday at noon with 3 other team members; however, when we arrived at BWI Airport, we ran into ticket trouble and Whiley, one of the team members, wasn't able to get on the plane.  We had to leave without her, and ended up spending our entire layover in Dallas trying to get her to Mexico!  It was pretty stressful, especially for Daniel--her boyfriend who was with me on the plane.  It worked out and she was able to join us on Saturday, when the rest of the team arrived.

What was crazy was that we found encouragement every step of the way to Mexico.  First, I was passing through security and was stopped to have my bag searched.  The guy saw my bag full of Spanish tracts and was so excited and exhorted me to be faithful!  Then, Daniel and I ended up sitting next to a girl named Brittany, who was just returning to the States from a 10-month missions trip to Nicaragua!  Not only that, but the flight attendants would stop their work to talk with us when they found out we were going to do the work of the Lord!

Since Daniel and I arrived to Mexico 2 days ahead of the team, we spent a day promoting the camp we would be holding.  It was amazing!!!  We walked around, making balloon hats for the kids and telling them about camp, and they started following us around!  Before we knew it, we had a group of about 15 kids walking around with us, promoting the camp!  After promoting, we played some soccer with the kids....and got beat so badly....but it was fun!!!

Camp in Mezcales was a full day of work!  The kids would either go to school in the morning or the afternoon, so we'd have two camps--a morning session and an afternoon session.  During camp, we'd feed the kids, have craft time, live worship songs in Spanish, skits, sports, and a host of activities!  So you can imagine how tired we were at the end of the day!

While we worked with the kids, other members of our team did work projects for the community.  One of the men in the community had an accident at work, severely burning his hand, so he couldn't work.  We were able to give him a finished cement floor for his kitchen, so that he and his family wouldn't have to cook on a dirt floor!  Also, we were able to help finish the community center that we were sleeping and holding camp in.  I was even able to do some stucco work on the outside!!!

So many doors opened up for our team while we were in Mezcales!  For one, we were able to hold a full camp session in the school!  That was great because a lot of the kids that went to school in the morning didn't come to the camp in the afternoon.  Then, we held a parent night at the community center to let them see what their kids had been doing at camp.  THE MAYOR came out to the parent night to speak for a bit and hear what Lee Short (the full-time missionary that hosted us) had to say about the camp.  We were able to share the Lord with so many people while we were in Mezcales!!!

One of my biggest highlights of Mezcales was my experience with Cristian.  He is a 15-year-old guy who played soccer with us our first night there.  We continued to invite him out to camp each day, but he would always give us some excuse for why he couldn't come.  Then, on the next to last day of camp, he came out!  We spoke for a while and hung out, and then he returned the next day for the last day of camp, BRINGING FRIENDS WITH HIM!!!!  I left him with a Spanish Bible and some of the tracts that we gave all of the kids.

Camp in San Pancho was pretty similar to camp in Mezcales, except for two key differences:
1) There was only one camp per day in the afternoon
2) The camp was outside in the main city square

That second point was especially important to note, since San Pancho is more of a tourist location.  We actually met two Americans, while we were singing worship songs to begin our first day!  The guy said that God had led him to go walking in search of worship...and he found us!  Camp was amazing, and each day would end with a campfire on the beach.  At one of the campfires, we witnessed the release of recently hatched sea turtles into the sea!!!  God truly is amazing and showed Himself faithful throughout the whole trip!  There's so much more that could be said, but I'll end this post by quoting one of the team devotionals from the trip:
"Be WILLING to go out on a limb with God...In order to follow God wholeheartedly, you must relinquish your tendency to play it safe."

A Trip in Missions

I'M GOING TO MEXICO!!!!!!  Lol!  A good amount of you reading this already know this, but I'm still excited to say it!  I leave this coming Thursday (Feb. 17th) at noon.  My team and I are going to Mezcales in Mexico to run a camp for about 80 kids.  As if sharing Christ's love with kids weren't exciting enough, the camp will be held out in the open air of the main city square!  Talk about opportunity!  We'll also be doing some community building (building projects, counseling, etc).  I'll get back on Monday, February 28th.

January was truly a month of adventure.  On January 4th, I found out that I had been accepted to go on this missions trip to Mexico with Camp Sonshine International, and was tasked with raising $800 in support by February.  Feeling very confident that this is the path that God desires for me to walk, I paid the $800 from my own finances--devastating my bank account in the process!  Oh, but God is SO faithful!  Since then, my trip has been completely paid for by my brothers and sisters in Christ!  Their sacrificial giving has blessed me in ways that they'll never truly be able to know.  Just check out a message I received with a donation:

"Jamil,
I hope God blesses you in Mexico and that you will do the work of the Lord there.  I pray you be safe and God bless."

Not only that, but I went into work one day and found this note in my mailbox (along with $247):

"Dear Jamil--
A friend and I have noticed your hard work and dedication to do the Lord's work in your life.  We have also heard that you are attending C.S.I.: Mexico and that you could use some funds to get you there.  Please use the enclosed money for the trip.  We pray that you would impact the lives of kids in Mexico!  We're praying for you and for your team!  Have fun and be safe!!
Love,
Your Friends!"

With all of this prayer and encouragement behind me, and God going ahead of me, I can't help but be excited about this trip!!!  I'm not going to pretend that preparations have been all daisies and rainbows, though.  January was an extremely trying month....  Indeed, God was so sovereign when He gave me James 1:2-3 and Psalm 103:5 as theme verses for the year.  Lol!  In the words of the psalmist from Psalm 73, "My foot had almost slipped..."  Then, through His perfect timing, God led me to finish my study of the book of Acts, reading about Paul's journey to Rome.

He faced threats from soldiers, wind, a shipwreck, a viper, etc; yet, he persevered in the Lord, arriving to a wonderful ministry opportunity in Rome (preaching the Gospel under guard, and waiting to appear before Caesar).  No doubt, the attacks I've faced have meant to distract and discourage me from the Lord's work; instead, I've persevered, by God's grace!  My jaw injuries, my emotional distress, family health issues...all were meant to do harm, yet God has used them for good (Genesis 50:20).  I can only wait with anticipation as to what awaits me in my "Rome"!

I'll be "off the grid" while I'm in Mexico, so no one will hear from me until I return.  As you pray for me, please keep my mom lifted...she's been watching the news...  She's seen that upwards of 15 people have died in Mexico recently from violence, and now she's completely worried and has tried to dissuade me from leaving.  All that worry isn't good for her heart (she's had heart disease since before I was born, and now she's developing kidney failure because of her heart medicine).  I look forward to posting photos, videos, and much more upon my return!  Until then, take care and be blessed!

"Missions is very simple.  There are only two ministries in missions.  You're either called to go down into the well, or you're called to hold the rope for those who go down.  Either way, there should be scars on your hands."  --Paul Washer

A Modern Day Stephen

Well, it's currently 5:30am on Wednesday, and I'm awake.  Lol!  For those who don't know, being up this early is strange for me; especially since I don't usually wake up until 7:30am for work.  That's on a usual day, but today...well, I just had quite the encouraging dream, and I just HAVE to share it!

There was a conference being held in a well-known hotel, and everyone who was anyone attended.  During this conference, a banquet was held in the main ballroom.  The room was huge, with many tables and chairs--there were at least 100 people at the banquet, easily.  All the conference attendees were quiet, listening to the main speaker for the event as he spoke about the main focus of the conference--which everyone would quickly forget as soon as the conference ended, as people normally do for those sorts of things.  The main speaker finished his piece and, motioning to the waiting staff, invited the conference-goers to, "Dig in!"

All of the guests were eating and enjoying themselves as the hotel staff served them by clearing tables and making sure that their beverages stayed full.  The staff did such a good job that the guests didn't even notice they were there!  Due to the good time that the guests were having, the banquet dragged on, and the staff faithfully stayed to serve; however, unknown to the hotel's guests, the staff members that were serving had already pulled a double shift and were getting tired.  Outside of the banquet hall, two staff members leaned into a corner and began to go to sleep.

At that moment, one of the waiters walked out of the banquet hall (no names are given at this point, but we'll call this one Stephen).  Spotting his two co-workers, Stephen approached them and woke them.  Startled, one said, "Ah!  ...oh...it's you, Stephen.  Just let me get a few minutes to sleep.  I've been working all day and I'm tired."  Stephen replied, "I understand, bro, but remember Who we represent!  Let's be found diligent in our work and faithful in our service to Him!  C'mon guys, let's get back to work."  So the three of them re-entered the banquet hall.

They were greeted with three angry faces.  "While you guys were out there slacking off, we've run out of water!" said one of the men.  "What type of sham is this hotel running?!"  Realizing that it was the staff members with him that were in charge of beverages, Stephen quickly apologized and started to help his co-laborers refill the beverage station.  However, due to exhaustion, one of the staff members dropped the container of water in mid-lift, spilling its contents all over the floor.  At that moment, all talking in the banquet hall ceased, and a sea of upset and indignant faces focused on the "incompetent staff member" who had disturbed the peace of their conference.

The conference speaker arose out of his seat and marched dutifully to the scene of the incident, and proceeded to shout at the embarrassed staff member!  The same three men from earlier joined in, adding in side comments about how lazy the staff member was.  Stephen looked up from the beverage table and quickly got the crowd's attention with a loud "EXCUSE ME!"  Once again, the banquet hall was silent, as all eyes focused on Stephen.  Then Stephen began to speak:

"We apologize for disrupting the status quo of your banquet.  We have been working hard for the past 24 hrs. and many of us have grown tired.  Still, we have fought hard to uphold the basic tenants of what we believe!"  As he said this, he motioned to a banner on the wall that displayed the Bible passage:  Psalm 119:1-9.  Stephen continued, explaining the Scripture reference.  From there, he shared the Gospel with the entire room.  During the whole time, everyone present was speechless and attentive to him.  Stephen finished by asking the question, "So what will you do with what I have told you?"  Then, he walked over to his fallen co-laborer, helped him up, refilled the beverage station, and went about his duties.  The banquet ended shortly after, as the guests pondered deeply Stephen's words.  The conference leaders immediately went to the hotel manager to have Stephen fired for speaking to them in such a manner.  Stephen didn't care, for he was happy to have been given the opportunity to stand in the gap, reaching souls for Christ.

 I'm pretty sure you can easily see why this encouraged me!  Just like the Stephen in Acts 6-7, the Stephen in my dream would have had to be spending time in good fellowship with the Lord to show such a balance of boldness and restraint.  So, in the spirit of Stephen from my dream, what will you do with what I have told you?  What will I do?  Let us be a people who seizes the opportunities God gives us to glorify Him!  Let us praise Him with blameless service on the job!  Let us worship Him with our time throughout our days--not just in the mornings or at night!  Let us honor Him by making Him known to the nations--starting with those closest to us!  AMEN!

Real Adventure

A good friend of mine recently posted a blog with a video of Francis Chan.  Now, I've heard of him because of his book, Crazy Love, but I've never heard him speak.  I encourage you to watch the video above if you haven't already...

[waits]

Wasn't that just an amazing challenge?  I can't tell you the amount of people, guys in particular, who have come up to me saying, "Jamil, my walk is just so boring!  Isn't there more to Christianity than just going to church and fellowship."  I almost want to yell at the top of my lungs, "WE'RE IN A WAR!!!  OF COURSE THERE IS!!!!"  Lol!

Francis Chan's illustration is so on point.  If you and I are not careful, we could miss the adventure that is our lives devoted completely to God!  Think about that.  I wonder how exciting Peter's life would have been if he had simply replied to Jesus like, "Follow you so I can fish for men?!!!  ...nah, I think I'm good!  [casts net into lake]" (Matt. 4:18-22 reference)  The crux of the excitement in the life of a Christian is in how passionately he/she follows after Jesus!

One quick story:  I was helping two sisters move out of their apartment in DC today.  While we were carrying things out, two large groups of youths gathered and started arguing (quite obvious that someone was about to fight).  Carrying mattresses, dressers, etc., another guy and I walked back and forth, weaving through the group to get to the truck.  Does that sound exciting?  The whole time, I was truly burdened for the city...

I WANT THE BOLDNESS OF JESUS!!!  I wish I'd had the strength to step into the middle of the group and boldly, yet passionately, share the Gospel with everyone there (about 25 people).  Now THAT would be an adventure!  Open-air preaching and truly relying on the Lord alone for protection!  A part of me is telling me that I'm crazy...but I know that Paul would understand!  Lol!

Willfulness

If I asked you how you define sin, what would you say?  If you asked me, I'd probably answer with, "Missing the mark," or, "lawlessness" (1 John 3:4).  I recently listened to a message by a guy named Ken Graves.  Coincidentally, that message was entitled "Be a Man."  Lol!  If you want, you can check out that message here.  In any case, in his message, Ken Graves defined sin as "willfulness."

What's interesting is that his definition lines up with what I've been noticing as I've read through the Gospel of John.  What did Jesus come to do?  Some would say that He came to die for the sins of the world.  Others would say that He came to demonstrate for us the "most excellent way" (1 Corinthians 12:31).  Both of those answers are correct and point to the larger reason for Jesus coming in the flesh:  to do the will of the One who sent Him.

Numerous times in the book of John, Jesus mentions how He can only do what the Father does, how He only seeks to please the Father, or how His words are not His own (John 5:19 & 30; 6:38; 7:16 & 28; 8:28-29 & 42; 12:49-50; 14:10 & 24).  Jesus was truly all about His Father's work and will; He wasn't caught up in what He willed, but deferred to the Father.

In fact, we can see examples of Jesus denying Himself so that the Father could be glorified by others.  If we look at John 11:4-6, we see a situation where people whom Jesus loved (v.5) were in distress; yet, instead of going to them immediately, He, being led by the Spirit (v.6), stayed where He was for 2 more days.  Of course, we know the rest of the story of Lazarus' death and how Jesus raised him from the dead.  But think of Jesus in His humanity.

He had emptied Himself of His divine power before coming to earth (Philippians 2:7)--He was working in the power of the Spirit, just as you and I can today.  He wasn't peaking ahead in time and seeing how it would end; rather, Jesus was trusting in the Father (v.4).  So when Jesus received the news of Lazarus' sickness, I'm sure His flesh did the same thing that our flesh usually does--spring up with anxiety.  Can you hear the anxious thoughts?  "Lazarus is dying!  You have the power to save him, so do it!"

But Jesus pushed back His own will to see Lazarus, and those anxious thoughts, and did the will of the Father (through the prompting of the Spirit).  He waited 2 more days and Lazarus died; however, ultimately, Lazarus lived and God was glorified by multitudes (John 11:45; 12:9-11).  In Jesus we see the perfect example of how to have a trusting and loving relationship with God!  Yet, when issues arise in our lives, everything just goes right out the window, right?  Lol!  I know it gets like that with me.  Recently, I've had issues with college--my professors don't want me to graduate on time.  Though I've done the required work, they've told me that I haven't done enough to graduate.  They've even began to throw out suggestions that I could graduate in May of 2011.  I'm in a 5-year major, so you can imagine how them suggesting another year made me feel!

Almost immediately I was upset and anxious, crying out to God because of the situation.  Then I recognized how Jesus lived His life--in TRUE self-denial.  Thoughts came to mind like, "What if God wants to get glory from your graduation struggles?" and "Why are you really upset?"  Honestly, I was upset because this wasn't happening the way I wanted it to happen, and because, ultimately, I don't want to fail.  Truly, I have never read of Jesus having such an attitude as this in the Scriptures.  Lol!

Willfulness is the sin that flies beneath the radar.  It gets you and I to think that we are truly souled-out for the Lord, when really we just want what we want--not God's will, but our will be done.  God has given us LIFE!!!  Are we willing to abandon all else for this marvelous gift and the marvelous Giver?

I'm not even going to assume to know what you, the reader, needs; but I need to continually remember that God is not some unruly dictator who could care less for my well-being.  God knows what I need, and He gives it to me.  That may sometimes line up with what I want; but I must trust God regardless because He can see the things that I can't--He knows better than me.  After all, He is sovereign.  So when the issue of will arises, I must live as though I have none; for my will died with Christ, and only the Father's will resurrected with me when I was born again.

Just Not Feelin' It...Pt. 2

I'm just getting back from the Calvary Chapel East Coast Men's Conference...and it was SUCH a blessing!  It just seemed like every session was tailor-made for me, specifically.  It just felt like I was the center of God's attention...it was lovely.  Still, this morning at the last session of the conference, I was so tired from Saturday night's fellowship at the Waffle House...and when it was time for worship, I just didn't feel like singing--too tired.  Then, I remembered my last post; so I reminded myself of who God is and I decided to praise Him regardless of how I felt.  I struggled to focus as I sang in worship, but God met me where I was and it was wonderful--the conference closed out in an amazing fashion!

Afterward, I read today's entry in a little book titled My Utmost for His Highest.  It's a wonderful 365-day devotional by Oswald Chambers (I highly recommend it).  It really spoke to me.  Here's the entry:

Instant in Season

"Be instant in season, out of season."

2 Timothy 4:2

Many of us suffer from the morbid tendency to be instant "out of season."  The season does not refer to time, but to us--"Be instant in season, out of season," whether we feel like it or not.  If we do only what we feel inclined to do, some of us would do nothing forever and ever.  There are unemployables in the spiritual domain, spiritually decrepit people, who refuse to do anything unless they are supernaturally inspired.  The proof that we are rightly related to God is that we do our best whether we feel inspired or not.

One of the great snares of the Christian worker is to make a fetish of his rare moments.  When the Spirit of God gives you a time of inspiration and insight, you say--"Now I will always be like this for God."  No, you will not, God will take care you are not.  Those times are the gift of God entirely.  You cannot give them to yourself when you choose.  If you say you will only be at your best, you become an intolerable drag on God; you will never do anything unless God keeps you consciously inspired.  If you make a god of your best moments, you will find that God will fade out of your life and never come back until you do the duty that lies nearest, and have learned not to make a fetish of your rare moments.

Just Not Feelin' It...

 Ever FEEL like morning devotions are a burden?  I had one of those this morning.  I woke up late, missed class, and immediately went to my computer to check the status of an April Fool's joke.  After I finished checking, I reasoned, "Why should I spend time with the Lord now?  I've pretty much started my day already; plus, I just don't FEEL like it."  Ah, but God pursues...

All at once I started thinking of God and His love--He surely didn't FEEL like dying on the cross for my sins (Luke 22:41-44); the love God shows me doesn't speak of Him FEELING like doing anything for me (1 Cor. 13:4-8); God didn't have a sudden notion one day, "Hmm...I FEEL like redeeming mankind today" (Ephesians 1:4).  Don't misunderstand, I'm not suggesting that we serve an emotionless God.  What I am saying is that God's love for us supercedes simple FEELINGS; His love is a promise.  So I decided to spend some time with the Lord, and I was blessed!

"My heart is steadfast, O God,

my heart is steadfast;

I will sing and make music.

Awake, my soul!

Awake, harp and lyre!

I will awaken the dawn.

I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations;

I will sing of you among the peoples."

- Psalm 57:7-9

David was truly in a troubling situation--on the run from Saul and hiding in a cave, David had plenty to occupy his thoughts.  With all that God was allowing him to go through while fleeing from Saul, David was quite distressed (Psalm 55:4-5; 57:4 & 6).  He didn't feel like praising God, but he didn't allow how he felt to get in the way of his relationship with God.  In the verses above, David commanded his soul to wake up as he willed himself to praise the Lord!  He reminded himself of his covenant with the Lord as he repeated, "My heart is steadfast."  The Greek used for that word is "kuwn" and it means "unwavering, established, firm, stable, securely determined."  David's love for the Lord was unwavering and established; despite how he felt.  David's relationship with God was firm and securely determined; regardless of his fluctuating FEELINGS.  What about us?  Will you and I trust our FEELINGS, which may lead us astray as our flesh continually wars against us?  Or will we trust the facts--what we know to be true as evidenced by the Word and what God has done for, in and through us in the past?

Once again, don't misunderstand the message.  I'm not going to one extreme and saying that every morning with the Lord will be a burden, nor am I saying that every morning will be like fresh manna (Exodus 16).  Some mornings I wake up and I just FEEL like getting into my Word and praising the Lord ALL DAY!  Other mornings, I wake up FEELING like I can simply coast through today by leaning on yesterday's, or last week's, time in the Word.  What's interesting is the more I give into the notion that time with the Lord is a burden, the longer I tend to go without fellowshipping with Him; which leads to me falling away in my walk.  Instead, when those rough times come, we have to fight through it!  Anyone can vibe with the Lord when they FEEL like it, but who is willing to do it when it requires a little work?

Some may read of how David willed himself to praise and conclude that his relationship appears forced.  If He had to will himself to spend time with the Lord every single day of his life, I'd probably conclude the same thing.  However, that's putting a lot of emphasis on David and ignoring a very significant factor:  God.  Who honestly believes that God will watch a person fighting through what they FEEL day after day just to spend time with Him, while NEVER providing any relief or support?  Surely not!  God is not unjust; He doesn't ignore our feeble efforts to spend time with Him, just as He doesn't ignore our efforts when we're "in the zone."  Rather, God blesses our meager efforts, for in them, He sees our true desires.  He blessed David's faithfulness (as evidenced by the rest of David's life), and God will do the same for you and I.

Solitary Confinement

I am on day 11 of what I'm calling my time of "solitary confinement."  As the name suggests, it's not a very enjoyable time.  This has been my time away from any form of Christian fellowship.  Allow me to start from the beginning...

December 13th
I missed church on this Sunday.  It wasn't because of laziness on my part or a desire not to go.  I live in a duplex (two separate housing unis joined together--kinda like a townhouse, but only on one side).  My neighbors were throwing a party (the mother's 50th).  The music was EXTREMELY loud and didn't stop until 4am...needless to say, I overslept...  I did attempt to calm the volume of the music, but the alcohol was flowing too freely for me, a student, to be taken seriously.

December 14th-18th
I got my wisdom teeth out on Monday, the 14th.  It wasn't the most delightful trip, to say the least!  Lol!  The dentist found cysts around 3 of the 4 wisdom teeth.  It didn't mean anything serious...just more pain...  Add that to the fact that I'm at home with my parents and you'll understand why I was home the entire week with no hope of going outside (mom is an enforcer...).  So that means that I missed Home Fellowship on Wednesday and Bible Study on Friday.

December 19th-20th
If you're on the northern East Coast, then there is no need for me to mention the crazy snow storm that came!  Lol!  Once again, I was stuck in the house; but it was mainly because of my mom's refusal to let me go anywhere, not the snow (still recovering from the surgery).

December 21st-Present
It's great that the road have gotten better!  It is possible to venture outside now...except for the fact that now my car won't start.  I had been trying since Monday, the 21st, to get it towed to the auto shop; but because of the snow, all tow trucks were busy.  I finally was able to get it towed last night at 6pm (22nd).  Today, I'm still without a car and I had bad news from the auto shop.  My car needs:
- new ignition cylinder
- new ignition switch
- fixed starter (there's a wire short in the system that needs to be found and fixed)

All of that is a total of $800!!!!  Whoa!!!  Fun times, right?  But it's cool because I have that in the bank!!!  ...minus a 0...  Lol!  I'm laughing to lighten the mood, but being around ungodly people constantly with no Christian fellowship is such a downer...  I spoke to my step-dad about it to see what I should do.  He has a delightful way of making you feel stupid for things that you have no control over whatsoever.  I spoke to my mom, which I didn't want to do because she worries too much anyway...and she responded exactly the way I thought she would.  Aside from this situation, I've told my parents about my plans to work at camp again this coming summer (something the Lord has really encouraged me to do).  There's not much encouragement from the home, though...  "Well, that's smart!  Coming out of college with loans looming and no money in the bank and you want to work at camp?!  You're a genius!  You can make more than a summer at camp by working at McDonald's!  Why not just get a job in architecture, since it's your major?"  As you can imagine, this makes me super excited about camp...yay...  Lol!

Then I spoke with my dad.  I felt bad about that one...I mean, he's in the process of rebuilding his life after coming to Christ.  He's making ends meet for himself, but not by much.  I feel bad asking him to bear my burden, too.  He's sending me $190 to help!  That's more than I could have ever asked for from him!  There really aren't words to express what that means to me...

All of this is interesting because of my devotion this morning.  I was reading Luke 11:1-13 and was drawn to what Jesus said in verse 8.  The word used for "boldness" (NIV) here is "anaideia", and it means "impudence".  I'm not much of an intellectual, so I looked up impudent.  Lol!  It means "shamelessly bold" (Webster's Dictionary).  So Jesus said that the man in the passage who asked was shamelessly bold in his asking...and that for that very reason, he would receive the help he sought.  Interesting application, in that by throwing away his pride and humbling himself was the way for him to find what he was seeking...

So in any case, I'm at home...again...  And I'll probably be home tomorrow, too....again...  What does this imply for me?  Continued separation from any form of Christian fellowship.  Not only that, but it means that I still can't get Alisha anything for Christmas.  I had planned on making something for her, but I still need to get the materials.  Not only that, but what I'm making will take at least 3 days to make; so one can easily see the issue.  I know that she won't mind waiting a little bit longer to get a gift.  In fact, I'm pretty sure that if she knew the situation, she'd tell me not to worry about it (truth is, I haven't spoken to her about this...yet...guess I'll talk to her after I post this...it'd be bad for her to find out through blogger.com--lol!!!).  She's a very understanding woman and I thank God for that!  Still, I want to be able to show her my gratitude...{sigh}...

I really don't understand how people can go months at a time without being amongst the brethren!!!  This is shear torture for me.  I'm around people who don't have the hope for eternity that I have, and even though I've shared numerous times, they refuse to have it!  I really have no clue what the purpose is of having me house-ridden; especially when I'm alone for most of the day.  I mean, I'm really starting to understand why God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone" (Gen. 2:18).  Being left alone for long periods makes it easier to drift away from consistent fellowship with God.  On top of that, it makes it easier to focus on yourself and become depressed (by-product of inconsistent fellowship with God).

I've been trying to keep my spirit up, but I'm tired.  Lol!  That's typical...  I need the Lord to keep my spirit up!!!  Lol!  I need Him to bolster my spirit with His own...  Because, so far, I can honestly say, I'm not in the "holiday spirit."  And it's crazy because I'm not bitter towards anyone around me, nor am I bitter with the Lord; I'm angry with myself and my lack of preparedness...even though there was no possible way for me to plan for this, given my current joblessness.  {sigh}  Well, it's time to recklessly throw my pride to the wind and continue to humbly ask for help:  When you kneel down to pray, please pray for me as the Lord leads you...

Shoveling Snow and the Basics of Colossians 3:23-24

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving."

- Colossians 3:23-24

Not much tops the feeling of a job well done!  It's too bad that I was deprived of that feeling this past weekend...  My mom wouldn't let me go outside to shovel snow with my dad and older brother because I was still recovering from having my wisdom teeth removed (darn...I love snow!).  In any case, they cleared the driveway yesterday.  BUT!!!!  After my follow-up dentist appointment today, my dad went back outside to clear some of the ice that had accumulated; so, of course, I went to help him (joy!).

As you can tell by the language I've used so far, I kinda like physical labor; I find it enjoyable and fulfilling.  I like it even more when there is help around (more fellowship to pass the time and/or shared work).  So you can imagine my happiness when I saw the plow truck coming down the street!  Check out the before and after shots of the street!!!

Before                                                                    After

Can you see the difference?  Lol!  This could be turned into one of those picture search games where you look for 7 differences between 2 pictures!  That same truck came down our street 3 times, and the roads didn't change.  The ice wasn't THAT tough.  On the 3rd time through, I noticed that the plow wasn't even down and that the salt machine wasn't even on!  My dad made a comment about how they're just driving around so they can say they did work and get their paychecks.  Wow....

It's little things like this that help me to understand why God gave us the instructions in Colossians 3:23-24.  I mean, who actually wants to pay for half-hearted workmanship?  I know I don't!  ...sadly my tax dollars were already at "work" in this case...

But what's interesting to me is that the noted Scripture says that we are to work hard in WHATEVER we do.  That means it can be a paid job, a kind act, a personal hobby, or anything else we choose to put our hands to.  "WHATEVER" we do, we must put our all into it; working to the Lord's satisfaction.  Let's be good servants!
For those on the East Coast:  ENJOY THE SNOW!!!!!


{sigh} I want to have a snowball fight now...it'd be great to work at that with all my heart!  :-)

In ___ We Trust?

About a week ago I went to the Men's Prayer Breakfast at my church (Calvary Chapel). The teaching came from 2 Chronicles 14-16, focusing on the kingship of Asa. It's so cool how Asa started out beautifully as a king, diligently leading Judah in the ways of the Lord; not only that, but he relied on God to deliver the people from overwhelming odds (2 Chron. 14:2-12)! Surely someone as faithful as Asa would finish strong in his life by continuing to honor the Lord, right? Then comes chapter 16, where we see Asa and the kingdom in the same exact situation as that from chapter 14; however, this time Asa doesn't call out to the Lord. Instead, he takes funds from the Lord's temple to hire the services of a neighboring king, who happens to be an enemy of the Israelites (2 Chron. 16:1-3). He places his trust in his own ability to take care of the need.

Needless to say, this message brought with it a serious exhortation!!! Lol! Still, applying this message was harder than normal, for some reason. Being a full-time student with no opportunity for work, the finances are pretty tight. So you can imagine my dismay when my brake light came on in my car...4 weeks ago... I avoided taking my car in because I knew I didn't have the money to pay for it, and because I knew that the mechanics would find more wrong with my car (I have a pretty old model).

Anxiety was a beast at trying to give me gray hairs before my time! I prayed and prayed, but couldn't find peace in the situation. Looking back, it's probably because I was still holding on to the situation and not fully releasing it to the Lord (...that may have had something to do with it...lol). Let's check out the epilogue, shall we?

I spoke to my mom and step-dad about the situation and my step-dad said he'd pay for the work on my car! "Wonderful!" I thought. "God is such a provider." I had no clue that He wasn't finished, yet. When I arrived at the auto shop, I spoke to the mechanic, whom I've come to know through repeated visits (as I said, my car is old...). He informed me that doing the maintenance on my brakes, pads, rotors, etc. would cost $400 total. Not only that, but as I suspected, my car needed additional work (new throttle body, gasket, etc.). I was prepared to just drive my car until the wheels fell off, as opposed to actually paying for that work...but the mechanic cut me a deal! He said he'd do ALL of the work for $500! The throttle body work alone would have cost $150, not to mention the other needed work, which would have pushed the total to over $700; so you can imagine my joy at this deal! I spoke to my step-dad, who confirmed that he'd pay the $500. It goes without saying, but I was quite pumped! Lol!

Then they said that there was an issue: since my car is so old, there are no new replacement throttle bodies or gaskets. But here comes God being a provider, again, because they found another throttle body in a junk yard nearby. Not only that, but they called around and found a gasket...in Washington State (quite far since I'm on the East Coast)!!! Lol! There's no amount of luck that could accomplish this; it's nothing short of the Lord's favor! Talk about going above and beyond all I could ever think or imagine (Ephesians 3:20-21)!!!

Now I'm at the point where the Lord has provided for me and I'm excited about it...but man I wish I had relied on Him a lot more BEFORE he provided!!! [sigh] I guess I'll just have to remember this situation for next time. Ah...building moments...praise God for them...