The Road to "Happily Ever After"

Well, for those who don't know, I am now happily engaged to Alisha Dodd--to whom, I hope to be a loving husband for years to come!!!  (you can view her blog here)  It's been a wild ride to this point; so wild, in fact, that I had to document it!!!

Alisha and I have been in a courtship for the better part of 3 years.  There have been joyous times, as well as rough patches; but through it all, God has remained faithful.  Toward the end of my senior year at Howard University, God began to prompt me about the purpose of our relationship.  We first began the relationship to see if it would be in God's PERFECT will for us to marry (not just His permissive will).  Honestly, I knew before we began that God was leading me to her.  You ask, "So Jamil, why did it take so long?!"  Simply put:  God wanted to walk us through some hardships during the courtship that would allow our future marriage to be more successful (I can only say this with the wisdom of hindsight).

As I was saying, God asked me about the purpose of our relationship.  I answered in typical Christianese, "To bring glory to You, while seeking Your will for marriage."  God replied by asking, "Then why are you sitting, content in courtship?  What's holding you back?"  Right away I realized that I had grown content, and began to pray and fast about taking the "next step."  Right away, God inspired me with a plan for proposal and a timeline!  Not only that, but He prompted a brother in the Body of Christ to give me $800 for a ring!!!  Add on top of that the fact that I had been put in a position to design my own ring!  Things couldn't have lined up any more perfectly!  That's when Alisha shared her doubts with me; saying that she wasn't sure if I was what God had for her, and that she was breaking up with me.

At this point, I was utterly confused and dumbfounded!!!  I was given the "green light" by God, but she chose to break up with me--and God confirmed her choice.  My connections for ring design fell through.  The money that was given to me was immediately needed to print my thesis project for graduation.  The proposal idea was leaked to Alisha.  I could do nothing but continue to trust in the Lord, who gave me peace the whole way through!  He made me want to restore the broken fellowship with Alisha (even just for friendship).  Not only that, but He continually brought me dreams that showed the two of us together--simply enjoying the company of one another.

The time for camp came, and Alisha and I were working in the same program with 1st and 2nd graders at Camp Sonshine.  God was continuing to sustain me during those times.  At the end of June, Alisha wrote me a note, apologizing for the hurt that she'd brought me during the break up.  I wanted to make sure she knew that I was fine, with no bitterness or anger toward her; so I met with her after camp ended for the day.  I told her that I held no grudges against her (in many more words than that).  That's when she shared her heart with me.  Apparently, God had been speaking to her about her doubts versus what He'd really been saying.  As she finished sharing, Alisha said, "If you'll still have me, I would be honored to be your future wife."

You may never know the amount of JOY I felt at that moment!  Still, I doubted if she was genuine (take a moment to notice how many times doubt is mentioned in this post...doubt is a killer, folks).  God whispered to me in His still, small voice, saying, "Just take her at her word."  I did.  It was afterward that I noticed a change--the way she treated me, spoke to me, thought of me...God had done something BIG in her heart, because there was noticeable growth!  (disclaimer:  this is not to say that she treated me like crap before; she simply increased in the areas that she was already good in)  It was the perfect reflection of Genesis 24; seeing God work on both persons without either influencing the other!

So, we were back in a courtship--literally picking up where we left off.  I asked God if I should wait before making the "big move"; after all, we had just gotten back together.  He responded, "My Word hasn't changed!  Move forward!"  So I did, and He gave me a new idea for proposal.  Not only that, but God raised up another member of the Body of Christ, who paid $1,000 for the ring of my choice!!!  So, on August 21, 2010, I set up a seemingly normal double date with our good friends, Jeremiah and Ashley.  We went to the National Botanic Garden in Washington, DC.  Without Alisha knowing, other friends of ours met us there and placed some orchids on the bridge railing in the Orchid Exhibit.  When we arrived to the exhibit, I slipped the ring onto the stem of the orchids.  Alisha came over to see what I was doing.  When she did, I recited a poem that I'd written for her, got down on one knee, and said the last line:  "Will you be mine?"  Smiling largely and shaking her head repeatedly, she gave me a big hug!  Afterward, we went out with our friends to the National Harbor to celebrate our engagement. 

Sound isn't the best, but this is what happened!

[Stay tuned for more posts during the engagement period!]