The Road to "Happily Ever After", pt. 3

I'm not going to lie, preparing for the wedding to/marriage with Alisha has been kind of rough on me.  As a young man in the Lord, I have a large desire to provide for myself, and more importantly, for my fiance and future wife.  That seems pretty normal, right?  I mean, who wouldn't want to make the one they love feel secure?  It's been a rough path to walk for a few reasons...

At the beginning of the summer, I had my whole first year out of college planned out!  I was going to work the summer at camp and then start my career afterward.  I thought it was a great plan with a great financial future!  That's when God began to burden my heart with ministry and His work; He put it on my heart to do missions during my first year out of college (before my career starts).  I decided to be obedient, and now I'm working with Camp Sonshine during the school year and next summer.  I've been enjoying the work and the environment!  The staff is so encouraging!  In addition, I get a paycheck for the work (which is something that isn't expected when doing mission work).  It's not a large check, but it's enough to take care of myself--$400 a month.

With $400 a month, there's not much that can be saved for a wedding and future life.  It's enough to make a person feel low--like less of a man.  Not to mention that student loans will be starting up in December...  It doesn't help that not many older people around me seem to understand.  My step-dad considers me utterly foolish because of this situation.  My biological dad thinks/knows that I'm making a huge mistake.  One of my brothers in Christ wonders if I'm working at camp because I'm afraid of joining the "real" work world.  Another thinks that I'm in this position because I simply don't know what to do next with my life.  There's not much encouragement.  Yet, I know that God is shaping things so that He'll be able to do a great work!  The same thing happened as I planned for engagement, and we all saw the blessing He brought forth there!!!  (see The Road to "Happily Ever After")  God, knowing the discouragement I face, has prompted me with these questions:
1)  Is God worth my embarassment?
2)  Will I serve and follow after God even if it means that I'll not just look foolish, but will be called foolish, too?
3)  If my actions seem foolish to me, will I still trust in God?

Lol!  Yeah, I'll be a fool for God.  So, I'm pressing forward and trying to trust God.  As you can see above, it's quite difficult.  In fact, I'm finding it really hard to trust that God will provide.  Of course, I know that He is able and that He controls every situation, but to apply that knowledge practically--letting go and waiting on Him--is hard.  I could really use your prayers...

As I continue to wait, I'm just going to keep myself busy with the work of the Lord.  He's given me more than enough to do!  On top of the work with camp, the door has been opened for me to work with all ages 5-21 in various other ministry opportunities!  Honestly, I have so much more to do than to be worried about things that God is already taking care of!  Lol!  Ah, well!  I look forward to posting pt. 4 of this unorthodox journey to marriage!!!

The Road to "Happily Ever After", pt. 2

IT'S OFFICIAL!!!  Not only does Facebook declare it and the ring on her finger prove it, but now we've had our first marriage counseling session with P.K. (that's Pastor Keith, for those who don't know)!!!  It was a great time of encouragement--talking about what God has done in our relationship (see The Road to "Happily Ever After"), and about what makes us love one another.  I won't lie, what Alisha shared really blessed me.  I mean, when someone says that they love you, you rarely take the time to wonder/ask why.  Hearing her words made me pause, like, "She really thinks THIS much of me, huh?  Wow..."  To be honest, hearing her heart really prompted me to make the following post:

We've been engaged a full week, as of today, and man has it been a busy week!!!  We've wasted no time in looking up venues for the wedding ceremony/reception, possible caterers, honeymoon spots, and editing the guest list.  Right now, we're looking at a possible date in the Spring of 2011 (April or May).  A few of you are probably raising eyebrows at me, like, "Jamil, you almost sound excited about wedding planning..."  Lol!  Well, I am!  Throughout my life I was always told that the wedding was planned by the future wife and that the future husband had no say in anything.  ALL LIES!!!  Lol!  It's been so much fun working alongside Alisha in planning our BIG day!  Everything from colors and decorations to possible locations and guests...it's been a joy (though, I imagine it will be an even greater joy as decisions are made and things are nailed down).  I can't wait to update you all; especially since the wedding party has been picked out...  :-)  Updates to follow!

The Road to "Happily Ever After"

Well, for those who don't know, I am now happily engaged to Alisha Dodd--to whom, I hope to be a loving husband for years to come!!!  (you can view her blog here)  It's been a wild ride to this point; so wild, in fact, that I had to document it!!!

Alisha and I have been in a courtship for the better part of 3 years.  There have been joyous times, as well as rough patches; but through it all, God has remained faithful.  Toward the end of my senior year at Howard University, God began to prompt me about the purpose of our relationship.  We first began the relationship to see if it would be in God's PERFECT will for us to marry (not just His permissive will).  Honestly, I knew before we began that God was leading me to her.  You ask, "So Jamil, why did it take so long?!"  Simply put:  God wanted to walk us through some hardships during the courtship that would allow our future marriage to be more successful (I can only say this with the wisdom of hindsight).

As I was saying, God asked me about the purpose of our relationship.  I answered in typical Christianese, "To bring glory to You, while seeking Your will for marriage."  God replied by asking, "Then why are you sitting, content in courtship?  What's holding you back?"  Right away I realized that I had grown content, and began to pray and fast about taking the "next step."  Right away, God inspired me with a plan for proposal and a timeline!  Not only that, but He prompted a brother in the Body of Christ to give me $800 for a ring!!!  Add on top of that the fact that I had been put in a position to design my own ring!  Things couldn't have lined up any more perfectly!  That's when Alisha shared her doubts with me; saying that she wasn't sure if I was what God had for her, and that she was breaking up with me.

At this point, I was utterly confused and dumbfounded!!!  I was given the "green light" by God, but she chose to break up with me--and God confirmed her choice.  My connections for ring design fell through.  The money that was given to me was immediately needed to print my thesis project for graduation.  The proposal idea was leaked to Alisha.  I could do nothing but continue to trust in the Lord, who gave me peace the whole way through!  He made me want to restore the broken fellowship with Alisha (even just for friendship).  Not only that, but He continually brought me dreams that showed the two of us together--simply enjoying the company of one another.

The time for camp came, and Alisha and I were working in the same program with 1st and 2nd graders at Camp Sonshine.  God was continuing to sustain me during those times.  At the end of June, Alisha wrote me a note, apologizing for the hurt that she'd brought me during the break up.  I wanted to make sure she knew that I was fine, with no bitterness or anger toward her; so I met with her after camp ended for the day.  I told her that I held no grudges against her (in many more words than that).  That's when she shared her heart with me.  Apparently, God had been speaking to her about her doubts versus what He'd really been saying.  As she finished sharing, Alisha said, "If you'll still have me, I would be honored to be your future wife."

You may never know the amount of JOY I felt at that moment!  Still, I doubted if she was genuine (take a moment to notice how many times doubt is mentioned in this post...doubt is a killer, folks).  God whispered to me in His still, small voice, saying, "Just take her at her word."  I did.  It was afterward that I noticed a change--the way she treated me, spoke to me, thought of me...God had done something BIG in her heart, because there was noticeable growth!  (disclaimer:  this is not to say that she treated me like crap before; she simply increased in the areas that she was already good in)  It was the perfect reflection of Genesis 24; seeing God work on both persons without either influencing the other!

So, we were back in a courtship--literally picking up where we left off.  I asked God if I should wait before making the "big move"; after all, we had just gotten back together.  He responded, "My Word hasn't changed!  Move forward!"  So I did, and He gave me a new idea for proposal.  Not only that, but God raised up another member of the Body of Christ, who paid $1,000 for the ring of my choice!!!  So, on August 21, 2010, I set up a seemingly normal double date with our good friends, Jeremiah and Ashley.  We went to the National Botanic Garden in Washington, DC.  Without Alisha knowing, other friends of ours met us there and placed some orchids on the bridge railing in the Orchid Exhibit.  When we arrived to the exhibit, I slipped the ring onto the stem of the orchids.  Alisha came over to see what I was doing.  When she did, I recited a poem that I'd written for her, got down on one knee, and said the last line:  "Will you be mine?"  Smiling largely and shaking her head repeatedly, she gave me a big hug!  Afterward, we went out with our friends to the National Harbor to celebrate our engagement. 

Sound isn't the best, but this is what happened!

[Stay tuned for more posts during the engagement period!]